Month: February 2017

Why ABUSE Exists: Stigma – Silence -Shame

 

 

 

WHY ABUSE EXISTS: stigma – silence – shame

I give up, like they hoped I would. I got tired and dropped  it.

If you are a silent victim of any physical, non-physical, emotional, verbal, neglected, not given medical attention, sitting with:

FEAR • GUILT • BLAME • SHAME • BULLYING. • INTOLERANCE • ANXIETY 

Then reading my tired email may seem all to familiar to you. Today, days before were not good days, but I will refuse to wear blinders, shades, hide in silence like many of us … do. You are very much NOT Alone with this and I personally am sorry. Sorry I see it + hear it + tolerate it + put up with it + worn down with it + take it. Don’t let my weaknesses prevent You, from having peace and safety, calm in your home. Rent, Own, Lease, Buy, Govern …. we all have 1 big thing in common, we all  d e s e r v e  a home sweet home. Entitled to peace

ADA  Americans With Disabilities

United States Of America Department of Justice, CCivil Rights Division

Coordination and Review Section

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) gives civil rights protections to individuals with disabilities that are like those provided to individuals on the basis of race, sex, national origin, and religion. It guarantees equal opportunity for individuals with disabilities in employment, public accommodations, transportation, State and local government services, and telecommunications.

THE 2nd EMAIL

Sunday, February 25th 2017

After today’s occurrence and  other incidents, calls and filed complaint to X County Child Services after a whole day of wall kicking = child alone kicking my wall 8 hours . I am disabled and home-bound. Child abuse and neglect, not quite the “nice” people as instructed this morning after requesting to file a report vs my “neighbors.”

To whom it may concern, pertaining to child abuse and  X  County services

“Governor welcomes the opportunity to consider your thoughts, concerns, ideas, and questions.”

Dear Governor and LT Governor,

This Sunday morning again, I was abruptly awakened by loud pounding, not certain where the source was, I was — asleep.  I had a plumbing incident here, so banging at my door along with some  ———— competitor asking about my bills at night. So I then realized, the child with disabilities next door — again. Not the “shave and a haircut,”  hey lady next door tapping that is normal, full out banging like at the door.  bam bam bam! Child obviously in a bed at least 7 hours daily. In a room, child with disabilities 7 hours daily, every day, weekly = longer, weekends, about the same. Perhaps a burden, for this stoic mother who only yells and barks commands or obscenities. GET THE F upstairs X ! NOW! What are you DEAF?! I said NOW!   The child cannot talk. So he cannot reply, but a high pitched squeal and kick. Poor young mother. * The only soft words, kindness I heard in 4 months, is a female officer who came to check on them, the crying and screaming subdued finally. “Come on kids, let’s get some jammies on, bedtime.”   I know their bedtime = 9pm because screaming like FULL METAL JACKET begins 15 minutes prior daily from downstairs, then X crying, sobbing, GET UPSTAIRS!!!!!! Then kicking and some defiant jumping from X , not disabled until he falls asleep with tears. He has run outside die to the over the top bullying and brute yelling, then her run out screaming GET IN HERE!. Adult men, would not be string enough vs the treatment. It wears thin on me,  being exposed to it involuntarily daily for 4 months. A blessing to move away from this town. Some peace, finally. Been in better motels who do not allow even guests to disturb paying customers with violent banging on walls and jumping and screaming. I am lead to believe ———— County does not have hours after 9pm for noise ordinances, zoning rules,  or peace in a neighborhood for resident, tax payers? All new to me, but very old by now as well.  Clear I seem to be the problem, been pointed out by the authorities here, no more calls or visits ma’am.

Song Suzanne Vega, My Name is Luka sort of stuff. “If you hear something late at night, some kind of trouble some kind of fight,  please do not  ask me what it was,  not YOUR BUSINESS anyway!”
These things cease, when authorities knock at the door. “Hello officer, all fine here. No trouble, never.”

No one knew as a child I had dyslexia, so I was a bad kid, bad grades. I am finding out my troubles 20 years later, have a name.

Children certainly cannot problem solve or stand up, for themselves. Anyone can have a kid; not everyone should raise children. Why? Abuse causes aggression – silence over years, decades – causes anger, causes crimes and criminals with anger issues, maybe even vs women. Why so many in prisons? Neglect, severe non-physical abuse, maybe?
* Governor please forgive my jumbled thoughts, I been told a stroke can cause ADD and a more difficult time expressing one’s thoughts like before. A stroke is also no light matter, like abuse.

With my experience thus far with ————- County for Child Services, you call it, not DCFS, I am new here and already after 4 months definitely moving even though $1k a month hardly a regular paycheck like I used to receive with 20 years hairdressing services and 2 years international corporate experience.

Sir I had a STROKE, induced by stress. Emotional, insensitive yellers and “why can’t you pick a better time to go to an ER?” type of stuff. Governor of Illinois, is shutting down LSSI health services, medical and supportive women’s services. Months wait lists,  national crime headline, ——– case on CNN that was my “county.” All stress, so I moved to the state of X, similar to many other long time Chicagoans because of the present situation.

There is an abusive young mother living next to me. 3x times I havd been asked for my # social security number, ma’am what meds are YOU on? Are you going to local mental health services? No questions about what I hear daily in my home with 1 shared wall separating me + x a 5 year old ( approx) child with per his mother? X she does not yell her own name sorry.  x and x.  GET UP STAIRS!  WHAT ARE YOU  DEAF? I SAID GET OVER HERE!  “Ohhhh GOD!’ X   “MOMMY!!!!  QUIT  YELLING  AT  ME!!!!! (crying) Christmas 🎄

Governor, I am disabled, dealing with lyme disease, joint pain, nerve pain, vitamin deficiencies, and chronic depression since 2003. I do not see fairies, hear people telling me things like people I have met sadly, so sad people who have schizophrenia. I do not have:  Schizophrenia nor Bipolar I.  Simply get depressed and had chaos and yelling in my own home, not like this DAILY.

Per ——– County Officer x today about 11:00 am ”  They are nice people, nothing wrong.  Ma’am what meds are you taking? (now drilling me)  After I said that sister who “watches” those kids M-F 7am – 6pm (hear mom come home proceed to yell daily, especially on Fridays.)  Silence besides the squealing X  does to communicate from his bedroom for 8 hours, a 5 year old, kicking my wall daily, some ramming the wall, because I research and educate myself about all psychology, sensory disorders, again “why ma’am none your business?”  It IS my business, I do not get to go home after a shift, this  IS my home and should not ever be forced out.

This officer today, insensitive and arrogant, dismissive, normal for officers who HAVE BEEN here. Why bother even calling for  “help?” I never been told by an officer during my Low Income phase of life, I was not raised on government handouts or in low income apartments. I grew up in upper middle class suburbs. I had a good education unlike so many I am experiencing lately in my life. Low Income = desperation, devastation and often CRIME. Make any sane person edgy. $1k not much for rent, food, and …. in this case of my neighbor Child Care. I am aware children with Autism, Sensory Disorders do not thrive in a room, they do well with exercise, community programs, education. Sensory disorders does not mean stupidity. I had undiagnosed Dyslexia if anyone cares = a bad kid with bad grades and no one Did Anything, all on me.

I am an adult now, I wrote a published book  – A FRAGILE EXISTENCE:  Living With Depression.  I have spoken to parents and people = Who WANT to know and care,  NAMI, National Association for Mental Illness.  I spoke about my book and how I get along in life independent, had parents of adult children with mental illness, not all schizoids,  hug me and thank me, with tears “I hope my grown child, one a  female Officer, ——– with schizophrenia and a child while on SSD and now lives at home. You see a lot in a hospital when you have depression, meet people with severe, developmental disabilities.  So excuse me for watching documentaries about disorders, psychology, Jung, Freud, Humanistic Psych. That is a quality not shame and disgrace, knowledge and intellect,  intelligence. A disgruntled person, called  STIGMA, would mock a person who “knows about” abuse or really anything vs their own opinion. Common – bring Defensive.

Your ——– County PD has shamed me, this officer the 3rd+ unpleasant experience and told me:  Disturbing The Peace is no offense ma’am. Me, full out (wall pounded) kicking a wall, no issue here? NO!  What meds you taking, you attending groups or services here ma’am. Governor, I never had a speeding ticket, no crime nothing, but * I get drilled for  having called local authorities. I do need a big memo. Those are children over there, not bad dogs.

“Unless fire or assault, do NOT call authorities here.”

Ma’am ” If you don’t like us so much WHY DO YOU CALL?! Those are NICE people nextdoor.”
“WHY DON’T YOU MOVE?!? (me gee officer SSD $1k tight for pick up and go MOVE truck, deposits,) GO GET A HOUSE AND QUIT CALLING US!”  Yes, sir.
Officer or sergeant prior to this visit, (I said medical, mental verbal abuse = abuse.)
“Ma’am what are you saying?  What?! I cannot spank my child?!”  (me – okay officer, thank you”
I reported the ongoing – kicking, yelling, I get the high pitched squealing now, I Googled it. Easy to do when it is your home, no  Motel 6. Information.

So ——– County Child Services took my report,  even medical neglect, thst child in a room more than my dog. I can hear it, and really I do not believe any of your officers Governor, could tolerate, relax here in my apartment if they stayed a weekend.
Abused see Abused. Narcs, narcissists, cold and calculated, perfect? They  do not SEE fault, nor blame, not even by a child, nobody. . I am learning that and  crystal clear living next to this, neighbor  and her sister who laughs about it, her nephew in the presence of a K9 fog, it to me = sickening and this police department each time has told me they see no problem or conflict.  They do not see it, nice people.
People have homes, people who rent. They have ears and eyes, anyone is just fine when police come knocking, an abuse specialist, would know about that, not a dispatcher, not people who  do  not  care  to know, ve bothered with the hassel.
I purposely  * reminded the officer today I read in news headlines ——– charges vs residents, headline news. He told me not him and were dropped charges. Thst is right, you do not fight City Hall, only crazy people do that.  Well abuse does not scare me off. My home wherever I may be =  My business, my concern & priority.  Terrible I realize officers are not mediators. Their job is to respond to crisis. Anyone who is educated about ABUSE knows that one of the biggest problems, is ignorance and SILENCE. A 5 year old with disabilities does not know what abuse means or neglect, medical neglect, verbal abuse, mental abuse.
Hopefully your fight with the abuse cause goes better than I have experience here in ——– sir,  madame lieutenant governor.  Abuse may be a silent NORM here. No big deal,  I will let The National Center For Abuse know about this, copy them so they are aware what goes on when things are not right. Why no one comes forward? No one wants to … talk about it.

Apology to all if I seem delusional, incoherent in your perspective. Good day to you.
*attached photo United Way 211 Assistance Ohio.
Regards,

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